Some people sail through redundancy. They are able to rationalise it as part of normal life, a temporary situation that will soon resolve, that brings with it new experiences and opportunities. Many of us are not able to take this philosophical view, in fact, for many people, only bereavement or divorce is more devastating than losing your job.
If you are not coping very well with being out of work, it can be difficult to pinpoint exactly why. Feelings may seem jumbled, and you may be annoyed with yourself for not being able to keep it together. Often, it helps to put a name to what you are feeling, because then you can take steps to sort it out.
Redundancy can create a cycle of emotional response that is familiar to bereavement counsellors: shock, disbelief, anger, denial, depression, guilt and then acceptance. As with bereavement, it is common to go through some of the stages more than once, or to become stuck in one or more of the stages.
Feeling guilty about being unemployed
Although your redundancy obviously wasn’t your fault, it is common to feel guilty. For people who are used to working hard for their money, there can be guilt at taking money from the benefits system, not being able to support your loved ones and about staying home all day when others are out working.
If you are feeling guilty, think for a moment about what your opinion would be if a close colleague had been made redundant, and not you. Would you be judging him or her for signing on? Or for being at home? Almost certainly, you wouldn’t. So, throw away any feelings you have about not pulling your weight, and throw all your energy and resourcefulness into your job search.
Feelings of loss after losing your job
Losing your job counts as a major loss. It signals loss of earnings, of companionship, of daily structure and many other things. Strong feelings, including disappointment, shock and grief are part of our natural response.
We experience loss throughout life, whether it’s bereavement, divorce, realising we’re not as young as we used to be or the children growing up and leaving home. We also learn early on that loss is survivable. Through our early losses – pets, a grandparent, familiar friends and spaces as we move schools or houses – we develop tools to cope.
The loss of a job is no different, and you will develop tools to cope. After all, loss is one of the major things that shapes and grows us.
Source -Redundancy Help – 2014